TO ATHAI!

(My Athai - passed away!)

College is yet to reopen.Last night we were all awake doing some work till 3 AM. It was yesterday morning,I was still in the bed-sleeping. The phone rang at around 6:45+ and appa answered the call. The caller had told some SAD NEWS. That is all I could make from the way appa answered. I got out of the bed and came to the hall to see amma and appa’s silence. I sat down to know what had happened. Appa told that My (AUNT) athai- APPA’s ELDER SIS had passed away that morning. She had a massive heart attack. Appa had never been so upset.I could hardly recollect Appa CRY. I remember he had earlier cried once while he was telling Me and my Sis about his Father’s death (while appa was telling about the hardships he had during his childhood.)We too broke into tears!! We were then studying in school. That time, Appa immediately stopped crying seeing us cry. This time Appa was too upset.First while he was telling us about this he was strong, but then started crying like a kid. All of us were in tears. I tried to comfort appa, but he wouldn’t. I have hardly seen Appa broke. Never have I seen him this upset. Appa took sometime to control , and then stopped crying. He told us how wonderful a sister she was!! Appa and athai had more than 10 years gap. After Athai was born Thaatha & Appayee (Dad’s side GRANDPA&GRANDMA) had 6 kids born. Every child died even before it was a year old. But in that period where there was hardly any hospital in our native all these kids had died very young. Then Grandpa and Grandma had gone to Kaasi, Rameshwaram …… Only then was Appa born.And Athai was very affectionate towards appa and took her fullest care as a young girl. She was a very responsible sister. She lived as a good daughter, Great Sister, Wonderfull wife and a caring mother. Aunty was the eldest person as appa’s family member. Infact only aunty was the family member appa had in our native now.

We started from here at around 8’ and all of us left in our Car with my cousin. I was so concerned that we should keep appa in a COMFORT ZONE. Appa seemed quiet normal. On the way to the native. We tried talking about our college,politics,and other things that could help appa not think about the upsetting old memories.
On our way to the native………….something without even my knowledge took me to my age 5 + . It was these sceneries . It had been so many years (probably the time I was in my class 1,2..) since I saw a lot of greens , Pasteur , in the fields and Every tank, river, lake, pond filled with water. In the recent years things had all been like dry lands, Empty ponds, no water in any lakes, there were hardly any indication of livestock . But this time I totally was taken back to my early years. Every thing seemed like am in my class 3 or 4… but then we arrived in our native. (Moms Mom & Dad- Ammayee,Thaatha) Ammayee was missing to give that tight HUG and carry us all the way to her home, thaatha wasn’t there too. And we entered our house there and there too was a difference.Athai was physically there, but laying still- no hugs- no kisses- no sweet words from her mouth. She was just lying down there-Lying dead! It was like a slap for me pulling me back to the horrible-present. I had never seen her lying down like this; she would be working round the clock. Seeing her lie-down like that- I myself could not control weeping. Appa broke again! And to see that, it was terrible for all of us. Amma too was very upset. Then there were other formalities going on. Me and my Sis- we just stood there - lost ,no words to console! Just weeping! And yesterday night appa felt very bad. I could sense that he could not stop thinking about Athai. Amma’s brother insisted we all stay at his house and so did we. Thank god that the journey has made appa tired. He slept as soon as he went to bed. But I couldn’t, because of the kitten that kept mewing there. It refused to move from our room. I sentimentally did not want to chase it either. Ammayee loved the pussy cat that she had. And her cat died soon after her death. So I kept quiet lying in the bed, recollecting the memories of Athai,Ammayee,thatha. We had not seen Appa’s parents.They died when appa was doing his studies(Appa was very young when they died).Next day we spent a little time there and started from there to our house here.

Now we are back home as appa has an unavoidable important meeting to attend tomorrow. Now he is emotionally not very strong, he gets upset very often. Even this evening he was upset again, but he is recovering as early as he could. He took care of aunt very well. There was nothing he could have done about this. She had no complains of heart problem. She was absolutely normal. Even few weeks back we all had visited her. Appa had been a very loving & caring brother. I myself had felt J seeing their affection towards each other. They were very caring and loving. May athai’s soul rest in peace! I wish Appa would be back to his normal soon. Very soon……..