Marriages ! ~ Wedding bells !

WEDDING BELLS!!
Wishing Ash-Abhishek a very happy married life!

Also our friend ramya will be getting married today - 23rd,which also happens to be amma appa's wedding anniversary! :) Wishing you a happy married life ramya! :)

Amma appa - i will wish them straight! ;)

This post is about marriages & do not be fooled that it may be about the celebrity wedding! :)

Marriage – hm…. Is it all about just getting committed to someone for the rest of your life(probably at least a greater part of your life )

ADHUKU MUNAADI !!! :)

Disclaimer: Am writing this post – just like that and nothing personal. Inga yaravadhu unaku kalyanama, Karumaadhiyanu aramichudadheenga please !!!;) Answer is no :) ! This is just an observation & something that had been of a great surprise, amusement & astonishment to me. Marriages – its success & failure.

These days some of the marriages FAIL – MISERABLY! The hard truth is that – they fail for no real good valid reason - but it fails because people fail to understand!

The number of divorce applications has increased greatly in the recent years.

Do not worry – this is not gonna be a brag, when you leave this page today – you will go in one piece :D I had been thinking & here are some of that ...

Wild thoughts:

#*Marriages are made in heaven!!
Some people are so talented that they make hell out of it ;)

#*Sometimes people say – “ They are both made for each other”

An incomplete sentence it is, I would say :P –“ They are made for each other to ……?“

Only they know! Be optimistic ;) and fill-in!

Yeah ,call me wicked!! :P But hey – unmai kasakumaam!

Ok jokes apart :) – Now coming to the serious question. Why do some marriages fail so MISERABLY?

#Well, in our Indian culture- we follow the custom to get married only once. I have no complains about that :D. So marriages are really serious here! Most of the time, in the excitement – what people forget is, you are actually committing the rest of the life to this person. Things that generally blinds-out this fact are – the expectations & attitude with which people look at marriages. I do not say – DO NOT EXPECT. Practically, no one would agree with me even if I say so.

#*You may look at marriage with lot of expectations – but do not fail to remember that the other person is also getting married for the first time :P with similar expectations in his/her mind!

#Before you expect something – in marriage it is always better to understand & do what the other person would expect from you. This way if both of them act – there would not be any issues at all. Do not give me individual’s right -crap. Sometimes you have to lose something in the process of gaining something else!!

#*Things one can afford to lose to make a marriage successful

-EGO,Abhorrence,Anger,Jealous,Pessimism,Doubt,Definitely not YOU!!

#*Things that do not deserve to be lost in the process

-Self respect,Patience,Loved ones, Friends & family,Your goal in life,Dignity,Optimism,Trust

And understanding couples always make marriages successful & thus making the loved one’s happy too…. spreading the happy wave around, it would propagate like a ripple. So will the worry wave propagate if the couple do not understand the responsibility.

People need to understand each other & also the society! Family is the smaller part of the society.Society is the larger Family. They may appear different – but on keen observation they become one & the same at some point. Hence one may not neglect the importance of marriage. There is no happiness without acceptance, tolerance, understanding & adjustment in any family! Marriage is no joke – they are very demanding & if people do not realize the responsibility that the society has bestowed upon them – no marriage would be successful for ever! Also it is not just about 2 individuals – but it spreads like a wave influencing many loved one’s- friends & family!

There are different ways in which marriages influence the society – or at least the concerned families.

~~One, where people make their marriage successful, of course with a considerable struggle & also make their loved ones happy.

~~Other kind – where they do not care about anyone & also each other – become a big head ache for all!

~~The third kind – where they do not bother about anyone else but only themselves.

~~Many more…. Many many more…

While these things keep be in one side we may have a new wing to discuss on – Arranged VS Love marriages!Am very consciously not getting deep into this topic....but an overview is...

Not all love marriages fail – not all arranged marriage succeed. According to me – it doesn’t even matter which category it falls in- as long as the couple understands each other & respects each other & their families. If this fact is neglected – marriages are not marriages but simply a ceremonial start for cheating the larger group- Society! Do not tell me you do not live for the society – You have to live in ONE! SO it is better to show some respect for the rituals that are followed.

Sometimes what really makes me laugh at is, in the case of love marriages/arranged marriages – some people who are not marriage-product get married & make each others life hell and sometimes they go to the extent of spoiling the loved one’s peace too, while some others who are so dedicated & respects each other and the loved ones - do not get married so easily. They have too many hurdles & sometimes they remain single for really long time. I only wish that – the later category’s patience is not checked upon! :)
Some people who get married with not much struggle fail to understand – what these people go through & they also fail to value people!

Things you get easily are not valued much sometimes – so true!!

Having seen few very dedicated souls being denied permission from parents/relatives to tie the knot – it really is sad to see!
After all life is to be happy & make others happy! Hope every person understands this!

I put a pause to this discussion here & continue on this later.

TO SHARE!!

Okay- here is something interesting that happened last week. Me & my Sister were traveling back home in train. At that time one of the known girl came towards us & interrupted our busy chat 7 asked “ May I sit here & join the great sisters?”

We both in unison said “ Please!! :) …..”

And we three got into some discussion… and it went on & on & on…..

And finally she threw this question “ Are you both gonna get married to brothers?”

LOL!!!

This is the umpteenth person asking us this question….

But I gave her this answer “ Marriage? LOL!! So are you planning to get married real soon … why did you shoot us with this question? ;)

Her: “ No yaar ! Marriage definitely no.... I don’t want to get married.

Me (thinking- Finally I get to see someone with like thoughts …..hm… Keenly observing her answer…but suddenly my sister shoots this question.)

Sis: Are you not interested in getting into any commitment with any guy or marriage?

Me:(DUH!! What dumb question is she asking... wanted to give my sis an electric current …. Because are they not synonymous when it comes to a relationship between a guy & a girl –getting married AND/OR getting commited. But boom!! The other girl froze me with her answer….)

Her: No yaar. Marriage is BIG BORE! I love to have relationship – but marriage is kind of boring.

Me: ( :O WHAT THE #@$%!! ???!!!! And I looked at my sis in astonishment. What is this girl talking…?? And then she puked some sick things which I feel are atrocious & would prefer not to discuss about in a public forum – preaching wrong, never! Then we kind of ended the conversation in total disagreement. And she finally gave a sort of yes answer – to getting married- it went like… )

Sis:She gave me the smile that read- “I toldyaaaaa….!! See, it was not a dumb question. The right question to the right person!” :P )

Her: Hm…okai. I may get married to a guy & it sure would not be any of the maami’s son or of any maami’s in my moms friends circle! It would be from shaadi.com or other such links where you find the type of person – preferably NRI , I may live with for some time…

Me: Sometime?? Oh dear!! You better remain single & continue your DD style Dating& Dumping….than ruin someone else’s life!!I spoke..) Poor guy! You better rethink about getting married !! ;)

Sis & Me (We deliberately moved onto to a different topic & then soon we departed.)

OOFFF!! So this is the idea some people have in mind about marriage..??!!! CRAP!!

And OH GOD! PLEASE SAVE THOSE NRI’S!!! ;)

More on this topic later – (NO…not the girl :P –TOPIC- Marriages!! )

A little thought:

If you & your spouse are in conflict about anything, the following guidelines may help

#Identify the problem from both perspectives with mutual respect for those perspectives.

# Brainstorm with abandon - give your creativity a chance to discover solutions that would make you both happy. Jot down ideas as you think of them throughout the day.

# Choose the solution that meets the conditions of the Policy of Joint Agreement best - mutual and enthusiastic agreement.

# Whenever a conflict arises keep in mind the importance of finding a solution that will deposit as many love units as possible, while avoiding withdrawals. And be sure that the way you find that solution also deposits love units and avoids withdrawals.

I shall return soon .....

~Maruthu.

@## College crisps ##@

College crisps ;)


Special APRIL!! - So the song ......

Note: Barbi has tagged me some time back. I opened the word file to sit & write on the topic, but trust me - am not able to come up with anything for this tag - right now am not in a position to think about & write on this topic. With last few days left in college life - i really am not able to write about what sucks :) doesn't mean nothing sucks! SO i would use this tag in a different way. I shall write about few interesting incidents that happened during my college days. Here it goes...

Am starting this new thread - under the LABEL called "College crisps" - to follow up. Past few days i had been feeling really very blue...final year blues . I was actually shocked to see me go through this. I was always conscious not to develop any attachment - emotional & sentimental with my college life. But DAMN!! Is this really me...?? I am so into the college life - class room funs - chat with friends - canteen - corridor walks- boring lectures , yet were interesting -Pranks in the class - SMS's during class hours - the silents giggles me & my buddy always had inside the library and the musudu librarian would be staring ;) which we hardly would mind - silly fights -Chinna chinna muranbaadugal - Very short lived anger - and Lab work - very interesting things that happened during the lab hours (too many to list ) - Staffs who were really entertaining :P - Answer sheets that never failed to surprise us - those lovely blue chairs near the lawn - our long chats after lunch - The huge old trees that i could not stop staring at every time we sat near library for the chat! And still too many to list here ... :)
Here under the college crisps are very very very few of the incidents that are always very special-may be funny too & unique incidents in my college life.
This being first post on this label- here is one very funny time we had!
# Once during open house me &my buddy had done a mini project to exhibit. Our project was really a big hit. Many of the staffs were so impressed that they wanted to buy it right away! But the interesting & funny thing that happened that day was - ....
The open house is a function that we organize for school children to come to our campus & explore :P the campus.On this day we exhibit our project & almost any department ~ anyone would walk in the labs & have a look at our project & we show them the demo. At this time we both happened to see too many funny people :) Alo alo we never make fun of people!! :P But funny people do make u have that giggles right? :P and me & my best buddy - sometimes we need not utter words- simply exchange of looks (Udaney ayduveengaley- through out the post naan best buddy best buddy'nu en blog'la solradhu is a GIRL!! Inga yaarum poraliya kelaprenu kelambidadheengapa!! Maruthu is a chamathu! ;) ) would tell us what is running in the other one's head :P and cha...damn! There were number of times both of us would burst out laughing - and all the people around would give the really strange look "Apdi ena dhaan pesipeengalo- kanaliye?"
We have heard a lot about the FLIRTS of SRM ...( Idhu yarayum pun padutha ila :) pasanga yaarum fight'ku ready aydadheenga :) But we have some real time big flirts in our college & i have managed to survive among a few of them. Namaku dhana dhu varadhey - so flirta aramicha kooda nama non-flirt'a akiduvom :P . So what happened is there was this person - he would always be bugging SOME GIRL.Me & my best buddy took turns in explaining -while other would do demo. Alternatively this was happening - now it was my turn. He was in vicinity & i told my buddy -
Me:" Oi... Vandhutaan dee. The guy we had escaped from all these days!! Oh damn... He is coming towards our table. Err..... Ok..ok.Amaidhiya irupom. Doggie- ippo ur turn ila :D Get up - explain panu - me the show demo :D "
Buddy : "hahaha....no darling. He is all yours :P Its your turn!"

By this time he had come to our table. Ok maruthu idhelaam vaazhkaila sagajam dhaan , get up get up!! Smile...pesu da'-- nu gotup'inen.

Me: Hello :) !
Payan:(Takunu kaia neetitaan - to shake hands . Namaku ivan flirtnu already theriyum. But hello sonadhuku kai neetradhu konsam too much :P and payan kai kuduthu oru murai release pana time akitaan'nu vera oru thozhi oru murai polambinadhu gnabagam vandhuchu.) Hello am 'X' from your department - don't u know me?
Me:(Dei una theriyamala?! Un peru nenapula ila...mudhala kaiya erakuda. Naanga kudukradha ila!'ngra style'a - With a polite smile VANAKKAM'nu oru kumbudu potuten :D Koopiya kaioda) Oh wow! Is it... Have seen you around. But dint know ur name :)
Payan: (kaiya thirupi neeti ) Hello - am X ... I do know u both. U r .... apdinu nama rendu peru perayum nachukaanu solitan!
Me: Oh cool...Namaste! :) Yes iam & this is (Apdinu soli nama buddy'a field'la erakiten :D Adhena rendu perum serndhu pana mini project - adiyo valiyo share pananum ila :P ...hehe )
Buddy: (Oru kadupsla she got up & said hi.... indha gap'la payan kai direction'a maathi ava kita neeta .....Naan avala parthen ena panranu! ) Namaste - Nice to meet you 'X'.
Me: ( :O ada makkaaaaaaaaa..neeyuma?! :P Cha paavam dee avan!! Rendu perum koopiya kaiodu oru smile kuduthom. Apram look exchange b/w us - adhaan soneney pesita... "naye! nee gali "-nu sona mari irundhuchu :D ) Hehe .... So X, i guess you are excited to see our project lemme not keep u waiting - here we go ... (Apdinu friendly'a oru few minutes sollitrundhaen project pathi. Payan kuruka kuruka neraya doubt ketaan... Good boy! I appreciate his arivu pasi :D ...Dhideernu mudira stage'la vadhu ONE SEC YAAR'NU comma potaan...)
Payan: I have seen you in campus many times yaar. Wanted to talk to you always :) I see you both together all the time. It is nice to see ....
Me: Is it? Interesting... Now you have spoken :) Shall i continue?
Payan: Talking? yes yes... :D ....I would love to
Me:( Dai...no da..Not ur type! Kelambu kelambu! ) Oh no X - i meant the explanation... we are half way through.
Payan:Arey - tell something about you ya. I can see that you both have done a brilliant work - which i would not understand for sure! :D
Me & Buddy : Exchanged looks that spoke - (Me: Ena dog ipdi mati vitutey...Nee escape agi enjoying'a iru matren unna! --- Buddy: Hehe... Ensoy ensoy....Sari ivana thorathalana mokai potu nogadichruvaan...think think..)
Me:(Apo en daa inga vandha apdiye parthutu kelambradhu!? ) You already seem to know enough about us X :) We shall skip the technical part- you can have a look at how it works . Now she would show you the demo. Buddy, you can take over now ( Manasuku ulla elaam orey butterflies :D ayya ayya....yaanai one time - poonai one time :D ..... apdinu naan side vaanga. She started)
Payan: Ok yaar- i dnt mind even if that part is skipped & we have a nice chat!
Me & Buddy : heee hee ...(apdinu asadu vazhinjom - then she showed him the demo! )
DEMO OVER !
Payan: Ok yaar - that was very nice work you both have done. So when can i meet you next time? Give me your number - will call you. I like talking to you ....
Me: ( :O Ivan boldayum thaandi mega boldu!! . Idhu varaikum manasukulla light'a oru uruthal...Oru velai already ivana pathi ketadha vechu thapa edhuthukramo- may b rude'a behave panramonu....but ippo dhan purinjudhu - not rude at all.) Ohh...It was nice meeting you too X :) We would meet when we happen to meet next time.....
(Adhukula..kalamulaanu oru kutties kootam came running....Yebbaaaaaaaaa Saami!!! kadasiya someone came for rescue!! )
Payan: OK yaar :D I sure will catch you sometime. Now i will leave- nice meeting you both,finally!
Me&Buddy: Yeah! It was nice meeting you too :) Bye X!
Me & Buddy ( exchanged the looks..... ippo ena solirupomnu you must be knowing.)

This is the first time we had to treat some one in campus like this. And his records show that he is someone to be kept at a very GREAT distance .
That day we both had so many interesting visitors & this guy was unique & interestingly allergic!
Disclaimer : This post is in no way intended to offend anyone. Especially pasanga edhum adi dhadila erangidadheenga :) We handled this poor chap the best way we could - without being rude or insulting - but simply siganalling & trying to show him the NO BOARD!! in the best gentle way we could ever have. And even now , if we happen to see him at a distance we do give him a smile :)

Ippo kelambren..... Am into the blues :) - innum yosika koodadhu. Thookam poidum :D This is a psychological way of approaching my blues.Am trying my best! Lets see...

The pic on top was taken that day while we tried pushing each other off the BLUE CHAIR - near the lawn i have mentioned about :)

I love my campus life & of course there were also some not very nice days! :) Which would all be shared with my lovely friends here .... :) Neengaley dhaan- pinadi thirumbi paartha?! :P