What to WRITE ?

After a good long Break ...once again am back to BUG :P
Life is never the same ... :) A little High 'N' a little Low
First thing first - :) Hope you all Had a Great Diwali ! I would like to wish (Belated*) all the newly married couple a very very happy Thalai deepavali.

Its been sometime since I wrote anything but scripts & some emails to loved ones. I even lost the habit of reading novel's after the completion of "3 Mistakes of My life" . Its not the book that made me stop but yeah my self & the kind of life am forced to lead. The kind of project I am in should never be the first project for any fresher & for that matter I wish such projects never even EXISTS! :P Insane huh?...try my shoes and you would not Disagree. Imagine 2 weeks of close to 14 hrs work EVERYDAY and Weekends too you are expected to show your face to your system. Fine, as long as you enjoy the work this shouldn't make you HATE to go to work. And I love my work - and more than that I love my friends here with me in this project .So work aint a big pain to me. I absolutely enjoyed my work & working late was not an issue either. But just few weeks back i had this very bad time. Nothing related to the scripts i develop but with one absolute FAKE i had put up with. I had been seeing everyone in my project as a good friend – I felt really lucky to get such loving nice people .And they are! From nowhere some people develop this Monstrous attitude that they just do not care if they are doing the right thing or for that matter - atleast things that thier conscience would not approve and for which one may not have to feel guilty LATER*.
I can tolerate anything but a FAKER. I just cannot stand such people. I do not make a scene or fuss about it but just cannot do that " Hey hi.. :) "- give a smile when you just did not like what they have become. Call me an idiot or whatever ... But thats how I am. If there is an issue I have with someone whom i know well, I believe in talking it over & figuring out a solution (I TRY HARD* because I really hate losing any relationship for silly issues.) For the first time when they do something stupid i try to tolerate. Second time , i tend to loose patience - so i let the other person know How i feel about what they are doing or have done. I try to understand if the other person has done it intentionally or by mistake. Mostly from the way they respond i get an Idea about what actually the other person has in mind. If its something that i may not be okay with, I simply stay away and avoid any further irritation. But MOST OF THE TIMES - I try to forgive, forget & move on (if it’s not a major blunder that they have done). There had been this person who had not been having a very smooth time & had continuously been irritating me in many ways & venting out her frustrations on me (I guess, Someone had left a wrong defintion for Friend in her Database!). Initial days I knew what she was going through and i felt only sorry for whatever is happening in her life. So i actually did not take it as an offence when she acts like Skull cracked. My best buddies who are now not with me back here in bangalore had always warned me – to stay away and actually not bother about this person. I should have listened to them. I did not… may be I could not, I was not able to.

(Pattaal dhaan puthi varum would hold good for me- but I just learnt a valuable lesson in life through this one – You do not always get what you give- you would also get something you may not have imagined – something which is ABSOLUTELY BAD in return. I try to give the best that I can – I do not demand anything back but I sure do not want any Non-Sense back.)

But then as days passed - this attitude of this person got worser and my patience towards her had been taken for granted. I kind of tried to comfort her whenever things get screwed up. I had tried to comfort her saying things would be alright soon, try doing this ... that... may be this should settle the issue and lot many times had been trying to remind herself of what her +'s are (It was pretty challenging to find them). Slowly as days passed - she had started targeting @ me making statements like - You do it quickly, You have already completed this - that , why are you doing things so fast, Slow down. Blah Blah. Well... that’s when i started feeling uncomfortable. This person was half the time wasting time in non Productive things which I did not opt for. I was not working in Super speed but she was NOT working – that was the problem. Each one of us has our own task & our own way of working. I have my own way - she has hers. There is no point in comparing. I did not quite like it, when the tone started to sound rather compaining. I realized my Help is not going to be of any use to this person if this is the tendency she has. At that point i told her that each one has thier own style of working and the way we do our work also differs. You work in your comfortable way & I would in mine. It is the quality of work that is important & yours is nothing less than mine. So do not bother too much - just do your work- do it happily. It did not seem to have been absorbed. She had been then trying to do things that would hurt me. And when I try to not make it an issue – be calm & ignore the stupidity – This person would get back to me saying ‘Sorry..i dnt mean to do that.Try to forget it… blah blah’. Whenever an apology was made I tried to forget & move on – although they did not seem sincere because it never stopped. As days passed- this person kind of started doing things that would not be seen too obviously but would end up leaving me hurt or irritated. It seemed to target my peace @ work. I was trying to ignore this and move on. But once i started doing that - it become even more challenging for this person to stop trying to irritating me. And as it got worser - I lost all my patience & just wanted to leave the place.I did not want to be around such people EVER! It was not worth talking to this person. How many times can I? I felt rather hurt for the kind of attitude this person had developed. Its the same way with few others but they did not seem to mind it much. I did not discuss this with anyone in my team as I felt it would leave the other person in embaressment. Also I could not digest the Fake anymore. This person was absolutely manipulative. And i could not tolerate such people.
I cannot pretend like nothing happened and move on as before with this person. One day my best buddy realized this and spoke to me -I did not realize am hurting myself for someone who is not Worth until our discussion that day. Many things got cleared only that day to me. This buddy of mine- she had been moving quite closely with both of us. She had observed that offlate everyone seem to have developed a distance with this person for some reason. I was lost in my own world of BLUES* for I could not believe people could be like this. I hardly bothered to take notice on this until that day. We all had been quite close, and we still are. She knew the whole thing even before I said it, may be that’s what true friends are- they know even before you say it, but she was only surprised for why i was feeling bad or rather upset while she acts like nothing happened. I could not figure out either... i did nothing wrong but I felt lost & blue. She said that I am leaving many people worried by being too silent & Pre-occupied.She said there was no reason for me to be that way- but that i need to understand some people are just STUPID. Now I am out of it. While I was terribly LOW, this person did not bother to give a word of comfort (I did not expect a sorry … but atleast some nice words could have been HUMANE) - but when i was back on track seemed rather worried about how I am out of it. She tried to make friends with me again.But GOD! I was Tired... this is not the first time & this time she had tested all my patience - Not anymore. I had to endup replying saying there is nothing we have to discuss ...Just move on. That was the MOST ETHICAL way i could imagine responding to a manipulative - stupid Nutcase!

I was left puzzled for having met someone like this. This person is one in a million – and I wonder how God could program such brains. It must have been his trickiest assignment. Till date I am not able to digest the fact – Inspite of you trying to be supportive some people use it when they need & with no regard take some other form later and behave like an animal and still expect you to forgive & forget. Well.... I just can't fake along. I could be stubborn in that may be too Stubborn. And am never regretting for that character of mine. I love myself when i make such stands but angry @ myself when I let such idiots upset me(*Only for a shorter span though - till i realise & get out of it) .And some way or the other my silence had made many of them more supportive - even those I least thought would sense that something is wrong. Thats the only comfort I had when i was in this (kind of*) depression & it helped me pull myself out through this Crap. Alright its over now :) and am out of it & I have learnt one more precious lesson in life.

What do you think about this whole thing? – Is it necessary to ACT like nothing happened when there are such camelieons? Is it a part of the WORK (un)CULTURE? Should you play along or do what you think is right & do what you would not feel guilty for later.

Life just keeps getting interesting ……

And am learning a lot!
So long Dear! :)


And am BACK (to BANG?!...)

Well.... Finally i have decided to pen down some of the things thats been running in my head since this JANUARY!

Well... The whole experience since joining Wipro had been remarkable & unforgettable. One of the fastest episode in my life would be this career START! Well to be honest in the first week after me joining the IT - i really did not find the reason why IT got all the attention & HYPE in our society! Am not going deep into that now. This was the first time EVER in my life for me to stay away from MOM & DAD so long. I couldn't survive a week without seeing them both, I was such a parent-addict!
And First time ever in life i stayed in a hostel. I remember few of my best friends tell me..."If you haven't been in a hostel. You have missed something major in your life." Well.... I din't miss that :) I got the opportunity to live in a Hostel (and am still enjoying that experience) & for many reason there is no blame on these friends who told me this. It wasn't bad after all... First few days was TERRIBLE for me. I couldn't bring myself to even answer my parent's call. That’s how much I miss them...

It started in Hyderabad - First level of training was successfully completed. Then when i was dreaming to head back to chennai they said we have our second level of training in Bangalore for few weeks. Then came too much confusion & now am in bangalore. I have moved to my second account now. I Miss the lovely people i had made friends with in my older account. But i do get to see them once in a while, or at least through mails we try to keep in touch. Well the second account was not a great start to me - one reason because I wanted to come back to Chennai if at all i was released from the older account. But now I have started to like this account very much & I actually am starting to enjoy the hectic days here. I always try to see that there is some reason for everything that is happening in my life, even when the worst things happen- i see that there is Something to learn from...some valuable lesson that demands you to be patient & smart to learn what is in wait. And i try to see it as a learning experience, and am still seeing it that way. I am a person who loves sleeping and I love to sleep till someone kicks me off the bed - can u believe i wake up @ 5 & start my work at office by 6. I am now working in the early morning shift & I do not get to leave by the 9:30 hours for the day, am not forced to stay back but you won’t be able to leave with too much of work left. (Something is seriously wrong with me! :P ) Am trying to give my best & it is to my surprise that when I enter the office – I forget all the irritation I have because of staying away from parents & I start working. That’s some magic I still do not understand. And my weekends are the only time left for ME… which goes in traveling to Chennai & then getting back to Bangalore, and the very little time left to have fun with mom n dad. I enjoy that … so I do not mind the tiresome travel.

In this new project, I have made good friends. After my Primary school days I could find the right set of girls to hang out with. Of course my college buddies are also special, but something is special now with these friends. And I was able to quickly bond with these buddies. Sometimes when the work is really irritating or the place is all heated up- it’s those dumb jokes we crack that keeps us going. So this is how my life is now…
I had been so out of touch with blog since my last post which I wrote before the completion of the training & now I know this is such a DUMB post.. but I do need a post to restart the journey ! I could not visit any of my friends blogs since then , for there was no time left for anything but to read during the training. I am hoping to be regular to blogs atleast from now…Lets see how I do it… J

And I wrote this post on the Sunday evening… yeah few more hours left for me to catch my train…

Ps: For those of you who struggle to wakeup in the morning…Try this Song ring as your alarm. You won’t dare to switch it off & go to sleep again: P
I have adopted this adorable one to help me wake up!



Dear Friends...thank you all for the nice words.... I shall gt back soon & reply to the comments.
Give me some time....
Have a great day!!
PS: And am sorry i am not able to visit any of your pages offlate.. I do not access internet much as the training is rather tightly scheduled.I shall return soon... :)


Three tags & ஒரு குட்டி Bye :)

First of all belated pongal wishes .
i would first like to share the news with you all that :) am stepping into my professional life this new year. A job that came my way during my third year end & now finally AFTER A LONG WAIT am entering the IT WORLD.

The whole experience had been wonderful & Enjoyable. I would be leaving home for the first time & go away far - to LIVE ON YOUR OWN. It sure is gonna be an adventurous journey..lookign forward to it. I wonder how am gonna handle this.. leaving home, not getting to see Mom & Dad every morning... Oooo what a life. Am with MIXED FEELING now. Happy that am starting my carrier, also BLUE for many other reasons :)
Student life had been enjoyable & also adventurous. I did my best to be a good student.
I have heard people say not all good teachers were good students. hmmmm !!!

There are too many things am gonna miss after leaving chennai-Home. Most importantly its my Mom-Dad-Home!
#Then :) its தமிழ்
Am pretty freaked out already as i do not know much telugu yet. I had been comfortable with kannada- which i can converse a bit in, Malayalam , and a little bit of Hindhi. But Telugu - although i like the language - i have no clue why i did not develop interest towards it. I can understand telugu to very very little extent. Training being in Hyderabad, am worried about how i am gonna handle. Dad knows many languages - and telugu :) he is pretty good at it.

#Blogging ( Am not sure if we are allowed to browse the internet during the training period. And you should all apologize me if am not able to get in touch with you all or Visit your blogs)
#Orkut ;ofcourse, its been a great entertainment during the long leave ;)
#Painting.... or basically the hobby.
# Evening walks
# Night time chat with mom & Sis
# DINNER (With entire family)
#My life style :) ( It sure may change after you enter the RACE )
and most importantly # THE IDLE ME # ohh.. how much i loved me being idle ; There is alot you will learn about yourself - and also answer to many question you have had inside that Skull. Just lying down - resting in the sofa,reading my favourite book, waiting for the kutties (flat kids) to come home to spend some fun time,Looking at the ceiling - thinking, watching TV or simply lying down there when everyone around were busy.

I am really highly disorganised with this post. So kindly do not lose your patience :D
Am not the usual me - past few days. Probably because the time to leave home is nearing.
And sorry to all my blog friends for my absence - i would try to be normal soon.
I had been so lazy or preoccupied that am only now getting to post 3 tags . I had made it a point that i write them before i leave. Let me get straight to posting the three tags :)
One from our friend Sudhakar on Resolutions & the other from our friend Kaipulla on MY PHOTO 2007 :) & the other from Sudhakar again.

( Started writing this last week...or was it the previous week, Not very sure :) SORRY for the delay sudhakar.)
TAG1: Resolutions.
tagged by :
Sudhakar :)

To be frank; me not very good at this :D Resolutions every year. Believe it or not i have this STRANGE habit ... every night when i goto bed i scan my whole day & check for area's where i had been a BAD GIRL & make sure i do not repeat ; and also check for me being the (BEST :P ) GOOD GIRL and make sure i improvise on that.Next day or the following days i try to work on the analysis.May it be saying sorry to a friend, appreciating something i had failed to, correcting myself basically.This habit had been helpful and also hurt me a little bit ( well you can't complain there are morons too living with us who do not know to appreciate GOOD. Thodachu vitutu poiklite iruka vendiyadhu dhaan ) Am sure sudhakar would already be in flames thinking What was the TAG & what is she writing? Looks like everyone had been writing something :P in this Same TAG..so i took my privilege to do the same :D MESS THE TAG & MAKE UP YOUR OWN. EVIL? Yeah pure EVIL :P and count me in!

So i started looking out in my diary collection - one (good) habit i have been practising since 1996 maintain a personal diary. Then i found some of these in many :P RESOLUTION dhaan orey resolution'a re re re re re-resolution :D . Urupuduma idhu? SAME DOUBT!
They are:
1996 and the following few years
1) Not to fight with sis ( Idhu elaaa year'layum irukkum .. Avalum idha ezhudhina ninurukumo!? :P
2) Not to miss Balvikas class. ( Adhu elaam nalla pulaya irundhapo...Bhagavth gita... Moral stories... Sing bajans.....this and that..)
3) Reduce play time ( ROTFL! Namakelaam adhu romba kashtamnu theriyama ezhudhinadhu... Believe it or not, when i was a kid I often used to come home with a cracked knee or bruised hands, hurt elbow .. that when ever Dad went to the medicals to get me the medicines/ bandaid thought Dad is a DOCTOR! :D he called Dad- Boss/ Doctor sir. And whenever appa came home & told me this "& So you better stop running around & hurting yourself. " I told Appa - " Your Doctor anyways ... You do have Dr. when you write your name ;so never mind dad!"
4)Be helpful to Mom (No comments :) i really do not remember if i was ... )
5)Watch less cartoon ( the more insistently i wrote it each year - the more did i start getting addicted to them, that even this year i was about to think of that as a resolution.)
Lot more from a stupid little girls diary ...but i stop here now.

This year it was - TO BE A BETTER HUMAN BEING> which so happens to be the same resolution i make each years since high school days.
This time am leaving this as an OPEN TAG! Anyone who likes this & all those who have left a comment here are asked to consider taking up the tag :)

TAG2: My Best Photograph in 2007
tagged by :
கைப்புள்ள :)

This is a very interesting and also confusing tag ;) . Thanks to kaipullai.

I loved many of the pics from my sets last year.Infact it was last year i started organising the Pictures i click in an online site. With many friends insisting to join FLICKR. I had no second thought - i joined flickr. Out of the many i loved

Do See my Flickr page & let me know if you liked something else better than this PIC.

For this particular Tag i am tagging friends who are recently into photography and am sure would not TURN DOWN :P the tag.
I would like to Tag

Anyone who is interested in taking up this tag is most welcome.

TAG3: Blogger Award

Thanks to Sudhakar for this Blog award. :)

I would like to pass on this to JUST ONE PERSON - We have all missed out being REGULAR IN BLOGGING or VISITING OUR FRIEND'S BLOGS AT SOME POINT OF TIME. As far as my knowledge He had been exceptional in many special ways.
He had been very systematic & regular in the blog world. A very sweet person indeed.
Its none other than Jeevan.

Am in a big hurry now. So i will take leave ...

Bye bye for now :)