Life is never the same ... :) A little High 'N' a little Low
First thing first - :) Hope you all Had a Great Diwali ! I would like to wish (Belated*) all the newly married couple a very very happy Thalai deepavali.
Its been sometime since I wrote anything but scripts & some emails to loved ones. I even lost the habit of reading novel's after the completion of "3 Mistakes of My life" . Its not the book that made me stop but yeah my self & the kind of life am forced to lead. The kind of project I am in should never be the first project for any fresher & for that matter I wish such projects never even EXISTS! :P Insane huh?...try my shoes and you would not Disagree. Imagine 2 weeks of close to 14 hrs work EVERYDAY and Weekends too you are expected to show your face to your system. Fine, as long as you enjoy the work this shouldn't make you HATE to go to work. And I love my work - and more than that I love my friends here with me in this project .So work aint a big pain to me. I absolutely enjoyed my work & working late was not an issue either. But just few weeks back i had this very bad time. Nothing related to the scripts i develop but with one absolute FAKE i had put up with. I had been seeing everyone in my project as a good friend – I felt really lucky to get such loving nice people .And they are! From nowhere some people develop this Monstrous attitude that they just do not care if they are doing the right thing or for that matter - atleast things that thier conscience would not approve and for which one may not have to feel guilty LATER*.
(Pattaal dhaan puthi varum would hold good for me- but I just learnt a valuable lesson in life through this one – You do not always get what you give- you would also get something you may not have imagined – something which is ABSOLUTELY BAD in return. I try to give the best that I can – I do not demand anything back but I sure do not want any Non-Sense back.)
But then as days passed - this attitude of this person got worser and my patience towards her had been taken for granted. I kind of tried to comfort her whenever things get screwed up. I had tried to comfort her saying things would be alright soon, try doing this ... that... may be this should settle the issue and lot many times had been trying to remind herself of what her +'s are (It was pretty challenging to find them). Slowly as days passed - she had started targeting @ me making statements like - You do it quickly, You have already completed this - that , why are you doing things so fast, Slow down. Blah Blah. Well... that’s when i started feeling uncomfortable. This person was half the time wasting time in non Productive things which I did not opt for. I was not working in Super speed but she was NOT working – that was the problem. Each one of us has our own task & our own way of working. I have my own way - she has hers. There is no point in comparing. I did not quite like it, when the tone started to sound rather compaining. I realized my Help is not going to be of any use to this person if this is the tendency she has. At that point i told her that each one has thier own style of working and the way we do our work also differs. You work in your comfortable way & I would in mine. It is the quality of work that is important & yours is nothing less than mine. So do not bother too much - just do your work- do it happily. It did not seem to have been absorbed. She had been then trying to do things that would hurt me. And when I try to not make it an issue – be calm & ignore the stupidity – This person would get back to me saying ‘Sorry..i dnt mean to do that.Try to forget it… blah blah’. Whenever an apology was made I tried to forget & move on – although they did not seem sincere because it never stopped. As days passed- this person kind of started doing things that would not be seen too obviously but would end up leaving me hurt or irritated. It seemed to target my peace @ work. I was trying to ignore this and move on. But once i started doing that - it become even more challenging for this person to stop trying to irritating me. And as it got worser - I lost all my patience & just wanted to leave the place.I did not want to be around such people EVER! It was not worth talking to this person. How many times can I? I felt rather hurt for the kind of attitude this person had developed. Its the same way with few others but they did not seem to mind it much. I did not discuss this with anyone in my team as I felt it would leave the other person in embaressment. Also I could not digest the Fake anymore. This person was absolutely manipulative. And i could not tolerate such people.
I was left puzzled for having met someone like this. This person is one in a million – and I wonder how God could program such brains. It must have been his trickiest assignment. Till date I am not able to digest the fact – Inspite of you trying to be supportive some people use it when they need & with no regard take some other form later and behave like an animal and still expect you to forgive & forget. Well.... I just can't fake along. I could be stubborn in that may be too Stubborn. And am never regretting for that character of mine. I love myself when i make such stands but angry @ myself when I let such idiots upset me(*Only for a shorter span though - till i realise & get out of it) .And some way or the other my silence had made many of them more supportive - even those I least thought would sense that something is wrong. Thats the only comfort I had when i was in this (kind of*) depression & it helped me pull myself out through this Crap. Alright its over now :) and am out of it & I have learnt one more precious lesson in life.
What do you think about this whole thing? – Is it necessary to ACT like nothing happened when there are such camelieons? Is it a part of the WORK (un)CULTURE? Should you play along or do what you think is right & do what you would not feel guilty for later.
Life just keeps getting interesting ……
And am learning a lot!