Wishing Ash-Abhishek a very happy married life!
Also our friend ramya will be getting married today - 23rd,which also happens to be amma appa's wedding anniversary! :) Wishing you a happy married life ramya! :)
Amma appa - i will wish them straight! ;)
This post is about marriages & do not be fooled that it may be about the celebrity wedding! :)
Marriage – hm…. Is it all about just getting committed to someone for the rest of your life(probably at least a greater part of your life )
ADHUKU MUNAADI !!! :)
Disclaimer: Am writing this post – just like that and nothing personal. Inga yaravadhu unaku kalyanama, Karumaadhiyanu aramichudadheenga please !!!;) Answer is no :) ! This is just an observation & something that had been of a great surprise, amusement & astonishment to me. Marriages – its success & failure.
These days some of the marriages FAIL – MISERABLY! The hard truth is that – they fail for no real good valid reason - but it fails because people fail to understand!
The number of divorce applications has increased greatly in the recent years.
Do not worry – this is not gonna be a brag, when you leave this page today – you will go in one piece :D I had been thinking & here are some of that ...
#*Marriages are made in heaven!!
Some people are so talented that they make hell out of it ;)
#*Sometimes people say – “ They are both made for each other”
An incomplete sentence it is, I would say :P –“ They are made for each other to ……?“
Only they know! Be optimistic ;) and fill-in!
Yeah ,call me wicked!! :P But hey – unmai kasakumaam!
Ok jokes apart :) – Now coming to the serious question. Why do some marriages fail so MISERABLY?
#Well, in our Indian culture- we follow the custom to get married only once. I have no complains about that :D. So marriages are really serious here! Most of the time, in the excitement – what people forget is, you are actually committing the rest of the life to this person. Things that generally blinds-out this fact are – the expectations & attitude with which people look at marriages. I do not say – DO NOT EXPECT. Practically, no one would agree with me even if I say so.
#*You may look at marriage with lot of expectations – but do not fail to remember that the other person is also getting married for the first time :P with similar expectations in his/her mind!
#Before you expect something – in marriage it is always better to understand & do what the other person would expect from you. This way if both of them act – there would not be any issues at all. Do not give me individual’s right -crap. Sometimes you have to lose something in the process of gaining something else!!
#*Things one can afford to lose to make a marriage successful
-EGO,Abhorrence,Anger,Jealous,Pessimism,Doubt,Definitely not YOU!!
#*Things that do not deserve to be lost in the process
-Self respect,Patience,Loved ones, Friends & family,Your goal in life,Dignity,Optimism,Trust
And understanding couples always make marriages successful & thus making the loved one’s happy too…. spreading the happy wave around, it would propagate like a ripple. So will the worry wave propagate if the couple do not understand the responsibility.
People need to understand each other & also the society! Family is the smaller part of the society.Society is the larger Family. They may appear different – but on keen observation they become one & the same at some point. Hence one may not neglect the importance of marriage. There is no happiness without acceptance, tolerance, understanding & adjustment in any family! Marriage is no joke – they are very demanding & if people do not realize the responsibility that the society has bestowed upon them – no marriage would be successful for ever! Also it is not just about 2 individuals – but it spreads like a wave influencing many loved one’s- friends & family!
There are different ways in which marriages influence the society – or at least the concerned families.
~~One, where people make their marriage successful, of course with a considerable struggle & also make their loved ones happy.
~~Other kind – where they do not care about anyone & also each other – become a big head ache for all!
~~The third kind – where they do not bother about anyone else but only themselves.
~~Many more…. Many many more…
While these things keep be in one side we may have a new wing to discuss on – Arranged VS Love marriages!Am very consciously not getting deep into this topic....but an overview is...
Not all love marriages fail – not all arranged marriage succeed. According to me – it doesn’t even matter which category it falls in- as long as the couple understands each other & respects each other & their families. If this fact is neglected – marriages are not marriages but simply a ceremonial start for cheating the larger group- Society! Do not tell me you do not live for the society – You have to live in ONE! SO it is better to show some respect for the rituals that are followed.
Sometimes what really makes me laugh at is, in the case of love marriages/arranged marriages – some people who are not marriage-product get married & make each others life hell and sometimes they go to the extent of spoiling the loved one’s peace too, while some others who are so dedicated & respects each other and the loved ones - do not get married so easily. They have too many hurdles & sometimes they remain single for really long time. I only wish that – the later category’s patience is not checked upon! :)
Some people who get married with not much struggle fail to understand – what these people go through & they also fail to value people!
Things you get easily are not valued much sometimes – so true!!
Having seen few very dedicated souls being denied permission from parents/relatives to tie the knot – it really is sad to see!
After all life is to be happy & make others happy! Hope every person understands this!
I put a pause to this discussion here & continue on this later.
Okay- here is something interesting that happened last week. Me & my Sister were traveling back home in train. At that time one of the known girl came towards us & interrupted our busy chat 7 asked “ May I sit here & join the great sisters?”
We both in unison said “ Please!! :) …..”
And we three got into some discussion… and it went on & on & on…..
And finally she threw this question “ Are you both gonna get married to brothers?”
This is the umpteenth person asking us this question….
But I gave her this answer “ Marriage? LOL!! So are you planning to get married real soon … why did you shoot us with this question? ;)
Her: “ No yaar ! Marriage definitely no.... I don’t want to get married.
Me (thinking- Finally I get to see someone with like thoughts …..hm… Keenly observing her answer…but suddenly my sister shoots this question.)
Sis: Are you not interested in getting into any commitment with any guy or marriage?
Me:(DUH!! What dumb question is she asking... wanted to give my sis an electric current …. Because are they not synonymous when it comes to a relationship between a guy & a girl –getting married AND/OR getting commited. But boom!! The other girl froze me with her answer….)
Her: No yaar. Marriage is BIG BORE! I love to have relationship – but marriage is kind of boring.
Me: ( :O WHAT THE #@$%!! ???!!!! And I looked at my sis in astonishment. What is this girl talking…?? And then she puked some sick things which I feel are atrocious & would prefer not to discuss about in a public forum – preaching wrong, never! Then we kind of ended the conversation in total disagreement. And she finally gave a sort of yes answer – to getting married- it went like… )
Sis:She gave me the smile that read- “I toldyaaaaa….!! See, it was not a dumb question. The right question to the right person!” :P )
Her: Hm…okai. I may get married to a guy & it sure would not be any of the maami’s son or of any maami’s in my moms friends circle! It would be from shaadi.com or other such links where you find the type of person – preferably NRI , I may live with for some time…
Me: Sometime?? Oh dear!! You better remain single & continue your DD style Dating& Dumping….than ruin someone else’s life!!I spoke..) Poor guy! You better rethink about getting married !! ;)
Sis & Me (We deliberately moved onto to a different topic & then soon we departed.)
OOFFF!! So this is the idea some people have in mind about marriage..??!!! CRAP!!
And OH GOD! PLEASE SAVE THOSE NRI’S!!! ;)
A little thought:
# Brainstorm with abandon - give your creativity a chance to discover solutions that would make you both happy. Jot down ideas as you think of them throughout the day.
# Choose the solution that meets the conditions of the Policy of Joint Agreement best - mutual and enthusiastic agreement.
# Whenever a conflict arises keep in mind the importance of finding a solution that will deposit as many love units as possible, while avoiding withdrawals. And be sure that the way you find that solution also deposits love units and avoids withdrawals.
I shall return soon .....