Hehe…. Well most of my friends would laugh if I say I am troubled seeing my anger (கோபம்). My college friends or school friends so don’t trust me when I say I get angry these days. I had never been angry then, I was this KEEP COOL always! After I left Bangalore I happened to get my own time to look at this new problem I Face – ANGER MANAGEMENT.
Yes! Honestly – I am troubled when I look at the angry person I am growing into. But one good thing I am a little happy about is – I am able to identify when the monster is about to come out. For some strange reason the “Good me” WARNS people around to leave me alone for sometime & I take my time out to tame the monster and not hurt people around. I am not sure if I do it with everyone but YES! Subconsciously this LIGHT GOES ON & I warn my mom, dad or the loved ones whom I do not want to victimize for this anger that is waiting to take a form. After am done doing that- I am quite surprised of how I knew it was coming & very tactfully avoided hurting loved ones. Ultimately I have identified it coming and controlled it but still I am surprised why I get angry more often than my college days. The work place may not be as warm as it could be, but off late I have managed to keep the place around me cooler than how it was when I initially came here. And to my surprise unless am forced to be rude I have managed to keep cool at work. Here is the funny incident that makes me Smile (a little bit shame hiding in it) when I think about it every time.
-> What is the best way to keep a check on your temper?
-> How do you manage ANGER?
-> Is it possible to be ABSOLUTELY ANGER FREE?
On my birthday I get a call while at work. The caller says “Ma’m, you have a courier to collect. I am waiting at your office gate”. It wasn’t one of the good days I was having at work. I was first puzzled because after coming to Chennai office no one but my dad knows this address. I was so sure that it’s not a parcel for me; I ask the guy whom it is addressed to. He says my full name with my last name. Surprised, I ask for the sender. That’s when the monster starts dressing up for the show, but I failed to notice it. He says there is just a Smiley -> . I was so not able to smile on hearing that, I reply – I don’t accept anything from smiley. You can take the parcel back and cut the call. He calls me again and says “Ma’m I am still waiting – please come and pick up your parcel” And YES! The monster is out. “You don’t tell me the sender. I have told you clearly, I am not taking it unless I know the sender.” He said “Ma’m that’s not written.” Monster says “ Well, don’t you have an office? Do you take anything and everything from people & deliver? Call up your office and ask who the sender is, if you still do not get to know you can very well take it back because I would never come to pick it up unless you tell me who had sent this”
After almost 30 minutes since the first call this guy reveals the sender’s name whom I least expected. And this good friend of mine who was listening to the entire thing came to my desk and with a smile asked “Are you not going to pick it up?”
I tell him I do not like the whole idea. He said we would go pick the parcel and get back. After few minutes little reluctantly I leave with him to the Reception. And man I see this shaky guy with a basket of beautiful Dutch pink roses and a carry bag that had a cute teddy bear! I felt so bad when I saw how shaky that guy was – I looked at my friend and couldn’t help smiling (a sorry smile - you would wonder how that looks, trust me it aint the best smile! ;) hehe ). I went forward and said my name – this guy with a shiver in his voice said “Happy Birthday madam. This is for you”. I felt like banging my head on the wall that moment on seeing how much I had scared this fellow over the phone. I felt really very sorry & told him “Thank you very much :) and SORRY I made you wait so long. I was a little uncomfortable to take it not knowing who had sent it.” Man what a smile I got back!
We carried that teddy & flowers and walked back to the ODC. It sure would look funny carrying a teddy and walking around at work :P I couldn’t help my self from laughing at the whole thing. After we came to our seat my friend who helped me carry the flowers back, told me “Maruthu, you know what is expected from you in this scene? First thing, you should have actually got excited when there was a call on your birthday saying you have a parcel to be picked. Second, you should have got CURIOUS to go and see what the gift is and then enquire about the sender…BLAH BLAH! That’s how girls usually react on their birthday when they get a parcel. What has happened to the TAKE IT COOL Maruthu I saw one year back?”
His words made me think, not all that he said made sense but yeah to some extent he was right. I should not have reacted that way. I felt sorry. Myself and this friend were in the same batch during the training days – first month of my work. After a year and for the first time we were in the same project working together. I realized that I have changed from how I was then, I am not taking things as light as how I used to take. Is it for good or bad? My major concern is “My temper”. I am consciously trying to keep a check on my temper. I am doing my best not to let it go out of control. But it sometimes goes off….even before I could catch the monster. Trust me after I started to realize this – It has come down to a considerable level.
PS: Most of the time the good me – pops up like a warning message saying “Maruthu! NO! Don’t lose cool” And I never click on Deny button when that popup comes but always on Accept! But what if I fail to get those popups in future?
WORDS OF TRUTH – I never getaway just like that when I know I have been rude, I always get back and say “I AM SORRY! I shouldn’t have!” but I wish I never have to apologize but control my anger before it is late.
I am taking measures to control my anger - and I have brought it down to some extent now. I still would want to bring it down.....
Tell me how you win your anger!
Trying to be anger free,