29.3.09

Anger 'N' Me!


Anger Management! :D

Hehe…. Well most of my friends would laugh if I say I am troubled seeing my anger (கோபம்). My college friends or school friends so don’t trust me when I say I get angry these days. I had never been angry then, I was this KEEP COOL always! After I left Bangalore I happened to get my own time to look at this new problem I Face – ANGER MANAGEMENT.
Yes! Honestly – I am troubled when I look at the angry person I am growing into. But one good thing I am a little happy about is – I am able to identify when the monster is about to come out. For some strange reason the “Good me” WARNS people around to leave me alone for sometime & I take my time out to tame the monster and not hurt people around. I am not sure if I do it with everyone but YES! Subconsciously this LIGHT GOES ON & I warn my mom, dad or the loved ones whom I do not want to victimize for this anger that is waiting to take a form. After am done doing that- I am quite surprised of how I knew it was coming & very tactfully avoided hurting loved ones. Ultimately I have identified it coming and controlled it but still I am surprised why I get angry more often than my college days. The work place may not be as warm as it could be, but off late I have managed to keep the place around me cooler than how it was when I initially came here. And to my surprise unless am forced to be rude I have managed to keep cool at work. Here is the funny incident that makes me Smile (a little bit shame hiding in it) when I think about it every time.

-> What is the best way to keep a check on your temper?
-> How do you manage ANGER?
-> Is it possible to be ABSOLUTELY ANGER FREE?

Angry me – a small incident on my birthday!


On my birthday I get a call while at work. The caller says “Ma’m, you have a courier to collect. I am waiting at your office gate”. It wasn’t one of the good days I was having at work. I was first puzzled because after coming to Chennai office no one but my dad knows this address. I was so sure that it’s not a parcel for me; I ask the guy whom it is addressed to. He says my full name with my last name. Surprised, I ask for the sender. That’s when the monster starts dressing up for the show, but I failed to notice it. He says there is just a Smiley ->  . I was so not able to smile on hearing that, I reply – I don’t accept anything from smiley. You can take the parcel back and cut the call. He calls me again and says “Ma’m I am still waiting – please come and pick up your parcel” And YES! The monster is out. “You don’t tell me the sender. I have told you clearly, I am not taking it unless I know the sender.” He said “Ma’m that’s not written.” Monster says “ Well, don’t you have an office? Do you take anything and everything from people & deliver? Call up your office and ask who the sender is, if you still do not get to know you can very well take it back because I would never come to pick it up unless you tell me who had sent this”
After almost 30 minutes since the first call this guy reveals the sender’s name whom I least expected. And this good friend of mine who was listening to the entire thing came to my desk and with a smile asked “Are you not going to pick it up?”
I tell him I do not like the whole idea. He said we would go pick the parcel and get back. After few minutes little reluctantly I leave with him to the Reception. And man I see this shaky guy with a basket of beautiful Dutch pink roses and a carry bag that had a cute teddy bear! I felt so bad when I saw how shaky that guy was – I looked at my friend and couldn’t help smiling (a sorry smile - you would wonder how that looks, trust me it aint the best smile! ;) hehe ). I went forward and said my name – this guy with a shiver in his voice said “Happy Birthday madam. This is for you”. I felt like banging my head on the wall that moment on seeing how much I had scared this fellow over the phone. I felt really very sorry & told him “Thank you very much :) and SORRY I made you wait so long. I was a little uncomfortable to take it not knowing who had sent it.” Man what a smile I got back!
We carried that teddy & flowers and walked back to the ODC. It sure would look funny carrying a teddy and walking around at work :P I couldn’t help my self from laughing at the whole thing. After we came to our seat my friend who helped me carry the flowers back, told me “Maruthu, you know what is expected from you in this scene? First thing, you should have actually got excited when there was a call on your birthday saying you have a parcel to be picked. Second, you should have got CURIOUS to go and see what the gift is and then enquire about the sender…BLAH BLAH! That’s how girls usually react on their birthday when they get a parcel. What has happened to the TAKE IT COOL Maruthu I saw one year back?”
His words made me think, not all that he said made sense but yeah to some extent he was right. I should not have reacted that way. I felt sorry. Myself and this friend were in the same batch during the training days – first month of my work. After a year and for the first time we were in the same project working together. I realized that I have changed from how I was then, I am not taking things as light as how I used to take. Is it for good or bad? My major concern is “My temper”. I am consciously trying to keep a check on my temper. I am doing my best not to let it go out of control. But it sometimes goes off….even before I could catch the monster. Trust me after I started to realize this – It has come down to a considerable level.

PS: Most of the time the good me – pops up like a warning message saying “Maruthu! NO! Don’t lose cool” And I never click on Deny button when that popup comes but always on Accept! But what if I fail to get those popups in future?

WORDS OF TRUTH – I never getaway just like that when I know I have been rude, I always get back and say “I AM SORRY! I shouldn’t have!” but I wish I never have to apologize but control my anger before it is late.
I am taking measures to control my anger - and I have brought it down to some extent now. I still would want to bring it down.....
Tell me how you win your anger!
Trying to be anger free,
Marutham! :)

42 comments:

G3 said...

Firstu :)))

G3 said...

:)) Koodiya seekiram angerfree maruthama maariduveengannu nambikkai irukku :D

Reader Wil said...

Thanks for your visit and telling me about how you spent Earth Hour. I didn't listen to the radio. All electricity was off apart from the fridge. I drank tea, had some cookies and wrote a letter to a friend by candlelight.

Marutham said...

@G3,
I once was "Hey why tension? :P " koseen ketruken.
Ippo i happen to see myself loose cool & cant believe it myself! :(

I trying my best ... :)

Anger according to me is a disease!:) Guess am infected ..

Marutham said...

@Readers Wil,

Thank u for dropping by :) It must have been special recollecting your time with that friend with a sip of tea and the cookies! Hope u mentioned in the letter - about the spl hour you had written this letter at. :)

Anand said...

U seem my kind u know..carefree yet sensitive.

I wish I knew ur language. Sighh
ANyways..wot's the progress so far?
Were u able to hypnotize any fly yet??? haha
And I hope u didnt tell ur mom it was ME who got u into it.

Andy. :-)

நாகை சிவா said...

mmm nalla vishayam than....

Tension aga vendiya matter ruku tension agi than aganum :)

Anal ithu pola courier boy, sales man, Hotel la Serve pannuravanga kitta ellam kovathey katta kudathu enpathu en karuthu!

R. Ramesh said...

anger control? why u r asking me? why? u think...??hehehe. me 2 have d same prob..hah

gils said...

!!! oru surprise giftuku ipdi oru reactiona!! maruthu..sinam kaaka :)

vishesh said...

:P

KK said...

Vanakkam Madam.... Howdy??Good to see you back...

Belated Happy B'day From KK!!! (I have wished with the sender name) ;)

KK said...

Well, been in this situation before... But I think it comes with maturity or rather life teaches it... My school and college friends wont believe if some one says I get angry... but I do get angry pretty often...
Getting angry is not a bad thing... but losing words in anger is the bad thing... as long as you have control over that... I wont say getting angry is an unwanted evil...

Sometimes I feel people who get angry easily get things easily than people who are the cool types...

Welcome back again... Glad to see you...

DT said...

Good one yaar...

btw I reduce my anger by commenting on blog posts which is not worth it...

oops.... did i help to raise your temperature a bit... if so... good work DT....

eh.. this is really a good post.. i can't imagine myself putting so much in words as you do... good job...

vishesh said...

hey...

lol now this thing is getting on my nerves(the smiley complain),so let me start of here...

chill( now thats a comment right ;)

P.S: - I am came to say this and not that above :- Vote for my design :P details in the post before the smiley error ;)

Jeevan said...

What I learned in my life is controlling anger make us more patient. Somehow the anger must exist before it takes control ourselves. Taking things into series makes anger, perhaps am not taking that to lose my peace and happiness.

Be cool marutham and keep smiling :)

Anand said...

Anger gets u nowhere...yet it's not so bad at times... go figure.
But it's a wise thing to be clear on ur thots. Anger muddies them.

Marutham said...

@Anand,
:) Well... thats interesting.
/I wish I knew ur language. Sighh/
Why? :P So we can write n read posts in native language? ;)

AND MY BAD...i couldnt find a fly then.Would try again this weekend ;) but wonder if bangalore flies would co operate and oops i dnt speak thier language...Jus Kidding! Hoping to find a fly soon ;)

Marutham said...

@Siva,
Adhaan sorry solitomla :(((

More over i think it was not sensible for courier ppl to say we dnt know who the BOMB, sorry Courier is from.

And i second u Siva! :) I totally agree but if they are the sole reason to anger u...hehe GOD SAVE THY! :D

Marutham said...

@Ramesh,
LOL!

Welcome to the club...we shall figure a way out soon!
I will give u the secret if i find the treasure first and u tell me if u do... COME ON LETS START SEARCHING! ;)

Marutham said...

@Gils,
//maruthu..sinam kaaka :)//
Nalla soneenga gils... Ketuko dee maruthu - SINAM KAAKKA! ;)

Marutham said...

@Vishesh,
;)

Marutham said...

@kk,

Hi KK...welcome here after so long!
And Daanksungo! :D

Oh no...Neenga kooda bayapadlama?! :P

Marutham said...

@KK,

U know why i love myself so much???
//but losing words in anger is the bad thing... as long as you have control over that... I wont say getting angry is an unwanted evil...
// Becoz of this... :)


//Sometimes I feel people who get angry easily get things easily than people who are the cool types...
//
OH no..i think here you may need a little correction to be done... DO u think we- cha... no no THEY get things easily?!

I would say mostly people who can sweet talk ( and not really express thier negative feeling- including ANGER.. but behind the back kuzhi parikra) great talented ppl get things easily! ;) I may be wrong... but am not 100% wrong ;)


//Welcome back again... Glad to see you...// Thank YOU so much... and welcome back! what feels even great is to see old friends back here again. Not forgotten is a great feeling.

Marutham said...

@DT,
:)

Marutham said...

@DT,
I manage temper but giving a broad smile for a very DUMB comment...


DID I JUST SMILE?! :P I mean a really BROAD ONE?! Oh yeah looks like i DID!




Jus kidding! See am not bad at it... ;) Btw thanks for that nice comment. It did make me laugh... smart eh...! ;)

Marutham said...

@Vishesh,

Yippeeeeee ur keyboard has letters!!!!!

Lets party vishesh..when where? :P

Marutham said...

@Jeevan,
:) I very know you have great patience jeevan! For you had always been a lovely blogger to drop by and give me great feedbacks even when my posts were just BRAGS! :)

HONESTLY>.. a very patient Friend!

Thank you Jeevan,I shall definietly keep that in my mind & try to be patient! I will be a good girl! :D (ok ...Try to be a good girl )

SMILE... thats the only thing that hasnt changed! :) I do smile...

Good to see you back here jeevan! Thank you... and Take care!

Marutham said...

@Anand,
//Anger gets u nowhere...yet it's not so bad at times... go figure.
But it's a wise thing to be clear on ur thots. Anger muddies them.//
One in a million truth!

I know man... i have seen what anger could do.. and crap i feel like a fool when i get back to apologize and see the mess i have done. (VERY FEW* but still hurts me when i see HOW MUCH of damage it could cause! )

Thanks pal! Will keep that in mind & would definitely not kill the fly if its going to FLY when i try the experiment on it ;D

DT said...

hmm.. smart reply... you did bring a broad smile in me too... and yes.. i updated my blog with a story after a long gap...

DT said...

periya post podaradhu eppadinu naan unga kitae irundhu dhan kathukitaen.. irudhalum.. i can't beat you :)

tulipspeaks said...

guess it is the age of raging hormones! hehehe!

hugs!



ammu.

Oracle said...

Anger does good things...

like limiting the number of friends you have to a manageable number ;)

Sreejith Kumar said...

Hey... you have started taking classes here??? :-) What is next? A session on Effective Communication? *Just kidding*

J said...

heyy, you blogging again :) cool! I used to check your blog..apram naanum avlova blog pannalai..I started writing again and un blog paaka vandhen :)

If you find answers to your question, let me know :p

Am reminded of one Aanandha Vikatan joke:

Patient: Doctor, 1 maasama enaku chinna chinna vishayathuku elaam kovam varuthu doctor.

Doctor: evlo naala intha problem'nu soneengha?

Patient: modhalayae solrappa ennada panitu iruntha!?!

:D
How is work? Hyd, Bangalore, ippa Chennai huh?

Marutham said...

@DT,
So true...infact can ANYONE at all beat me in that? ;) hehe....

Marutham said...

@Tulip,
Haha... may be..may be not...
Welcome bak dear! ;)

Marutham said...

@Oracle...
//Anger does good things...

like limiting the number of friends you have to a manageable number ;)//

:O WHAT???????? OMG... i wud never want that to happen
NOW SOMEBODY GOTTO TELL ME HOW TO CONTROL MY ANGER!!!!!!!!

Marutham said...

@Sreejith,

Dear no.. the post is pleading someone to teach me how to manage ANGER :D

On communication... why not ;) lets start one

Marutham said...

@J ,

Madam welcome back !!!!!!!!!

and ROTFL... thats a good one.

Yeah dear now am bak home... Where r u?how is life?

ENakku inum vidai theriyavillai..wud let u all know if i find an answer soon :)

R. Ramesh said...

hey friend thanks for passing by and the motivating comment..rombo nanri..meendum varuga

Sreejith Kumar said...

Hmmm... have you gone for anotehr vacation? ;)

Chandru said...

Ippadilama shock kudupanga dubakoor pasnga. yaru maruthu athu. sollu oru vazhi pannidalam


chubby Aka chandru